The Version of Me That Entered This Season Isn't the One Who Will Leave It

Why Unlearning Is Essential for Personal Growth and Becoming Your Authentic Self

I've been sitting with a thought that I can't quite shake.

Like so many Black women, I'm in a hard season.

Our hard doesn't always look the same. For some, it's work. For others, it's family, health, finances, relationships, or simply carrying the weight of existing in a world that constantly asks more of us than it gives back.

I don't share that because I'm looking for sympathy. I share it because I know I'm not alone.

And here's what I've realized.

The version of me that entered this season is not the version that will grow me out of it.

That's both unsettling and freeing.

We spend so much of our lives believing growth comes from adding something—another skill, another strategy, another credential, another habit. It's easier to chase another goal, read another book, or create another plan than it is to examine the beliefs we've been carrying for years. The ones that once served us but may no longer belong in the lives we're trying to build.

But what if this season is asking something different of me?

What if becoming requires unlearning?

What if the next version of me isn't waiting for me to become more—but to let go?

Unlearning the belief that my worth is measured by my productivity.

Unlearning the need to have everything figured out before taking the next step.

Unlearning the survival strategies that once protected me but now keep me from becoming who I'm meant to be.

Unlearning the stories I've carried for so long that I forgot they were stories—not truths.

Maybe that's what hard seasons are for.

Not because struggle is the goal, but because struggle has a way of revealing what comfort allows us to ignore.

But I'm also realizing that unlearning isn't about rejecting the woman I've been.

It's about honoring her.

Thanking her.

She did what she needed to do with what she knew.

She carried me through seasons I wasn't sure I'd make it through.

She helped me survive.

But survival was never meant to be the destination.

I don't want to cling to an old version of myself simply because she's familiar.

I want to become the woman this next season is calling me to be.

And maybe that's where you find yourself, too.

Maybe you're standing at the edge of a new season, wondering why it feels so uncomfortable.

Maybe you've been assuming you need to do more, achieve more, or become more, when what this season is really asking of you is to release what no longer serves you.

To let go of the belief that your worth is earned.

To loosen your grip on perfection.

To stop carrying responsibilities that were never yours to begin with.

To release the version of yourself that got you here, trusting that she doesn't have to carry you where you're going.

So let me leave you with the same question I've been asking myself.

What do you need to unlearn to become the woman who can carry what's next?

Don't answer it too quickly.

Sit with it.

Pay attention to what comes up.

Because the life you're praying for may not require you to become someone new.

It may require you to become more fully yourself.

A freer version of yourself.

be well, sis.