Who Were You Before the Armor?

Shedding the Shields Black Women Wear in Leadership

The world told us to be strong. We built armor. Now it’s time to ask—what did we lose underneath it?

Before the titles. Before the credentials. Before the high-functioning, always-holding-it-together version of you.

Who were you?

That’s the question that continues to sit in the hearts of many Black women leaders I coach—because it’s not just a question.

It’s an invitation.

A reclamation.

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned to lead with armor. Mine looked like perfectionism, self-editing and staying quiet, never asking for help, and swallowing my feelings so no one could call me “emotional.”

Maybe yours looked like:

• The “I’m fine” smile

• The strategic silence

• The endless overachieving

• The suppression of softness, doubt, and need

The Cost of Armor

Armor might keep you safe, but it also keeps you separate—from your truth, from support, and from the authenticity required to lead with confidence and clarity.

At some point, we learned to trade pieces of ourselves for the privilege of leading. But leadership that costs you your wholeness isn’t leadership—it’s survival dressed up in a title.

I’ve sat across from brilliant women who couldn’t name their needs. Women who hadn’t cried in years. Women who led entire organizations but no longer recognized the sound of their own voice.

The Journey Back

Reclaiming who you were before the armor doesn’t mean abandoning your excellence. It means leading in a way that doesn’t require you to disappear.

It means:

• Feeling your feelings without apology

• Setting boundaries that protect your peace

• Letting support in

• Leading with both head and heart

• Making room for softness and sovereignty

You are not just a role. You are a whole woman. And your magic was never meant to be hidden beneath armor.

A Reflection for You

Who were you before you believed you had to be invincible to be valuable?

Let her speak. Let her guide you. She might just be the key to your most powerful, most aligned leadership yet.

Because shedding the armor isn’t about losing your excellence—it’s about reclaiming the parts of you that make you whole.